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“I speak two languages: body and English.”
–Mae West

Dear Person Who Found My Blog by Searching “белые тигры”:

Gesundheit.

Love,

Mel

ETA: “белые тигры” apparently means “white tiger,” judging by the images that come when I copy and paste that phrase into Google.  I love the internet.

Sounds travel through space long after their wave patterns have ceased to be detectable by the human ear; some cut right through the ionosphere and barrel on out into the cosmic heartland, while others bounce around, eventually being absorbed into the vibratory fields of earthly barriers, but in neither case does the energy succumb; it goes on forever — which is why we, each of us, should take pains to make sweet notes.
– from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, by Tom Robbins

Dear Young Man Beside Me on the Metro This Afternoon:

If I can hear your music, with my processor turned all the way down, over the noise of the train, and seeping out from your headphones, you may be listening to your music a tad too loud.  Just sayin’.

Love,

Mel

Reverend Steenwyck: Their heads weren’t found severed.  Their heads were not found at all.
Ichabod Crane: The heads are gone?
Rev. Steenwyck: Taken.  Taken by the Headless Horseman.  Taken back to hell.
– from Sleepy Hollow

Dear Person Who Found My Blog By Searching “baby born without head”:

Go. Away.

Love,
Mel

All Englishmen like dresses.  It’s something in their genes.  Everyone knows it, they just don’t talk about it.
– David Bowie

Dear Person Who Found My Blog By Searching “boy wearing sister’s clothes”:

Welcome; I think you’re looking for this.  Don’t fight it, just relax and laugh your ass off at how cute he looks.

Love,
Mel

A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.
– James Joyce

Dear Person Who Found My Blog By Searching “www hispanic escorts houston .com”:

Not exactly what you were looking for, huh? Perhaps I should have been more clear. Please accept my deepest apologies. I do hope your search was ultimately successful!

Love,
Mel

“I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.”
— Arthur Denton, Little Shop of Horrors

Dear Person Who Found My Blog By Searching “I’m in love with my dentist crush marry” Seven Times:

Me too! Gosh, I hope we don’t have the same dentist. That would be awkward. Good luck to you!

Love,
Mel