You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Family' category.
Her full nature . . . spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half doing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.
– from Middlemarch, by George Eliot
Some of you have asked after the woman I wrote the last Three Things post about, and I appreciate that. I’m more sorry than I can say to tell you that it’s my best friend Aimee’s mother.
Jeanette was diagnosed with Stage IV brain cancer this past March. She underwent surgery to remove most of the tumor and then received both radiation and chemotherapy. She had ups and downs, and the prognosis was never great, but we all so hoped for a miracle, or at least more time than we got. She began declining steadily towards the end of August, and by the end, she was bedridden and often unable to respond, though she usually knew when people were with her.
I have known Jeanette since I was 14 years old. It wouldn’t be exaggerating at all to say that she was like a second mother to me. In high school, Aimee’s house was the place all the kids wanted to be because Jeanette and Bill, Aimee’s step-dad, were totally laid back. They were great fun to be around, but they also knew when to make themselves scarce, and as long as we weren’t out of control, they left us to our own devices. They took all of us in and loved us and counseled us and fed us and, in my case (and in the case of her sister’s friends), sheltered us for a time.
As we grew and went off and had lives of our own, they still asked after us and greeted us with hugs and kisses and questions about what we were up to. They always encouraged us in whatever endeavor we took on and supported us and shared their wisdom, which was vast, freely. I loved them dearly.
Bill died in November 2005. The minister at Jeanette’s memorial service said it best: She was a widow, but she never stopped being married to him. Aimee told me that it was Jeanette’s great hope that, after she died, she would be reunited with Bill. I don’t know what I believe, really, about what happens to you after you die, but I hope with all my heart that they are together again.
Three weeks before Jeanette died, I went to Richmond to say goodbye. It was a difficult thing to do; she was bedridden, nearly bald, and able to communicate very little. She knew we were there, though, and we had some good laughs and a few tears. Aimee and her sister were gracious enough to give me a few minutes alone with Jeanette, and I was able to tell her how much she meant to me and how grateful I was to have her in my life. I know that she understood; she cried a little when she realized that what I was really saying was goodbye. She grew sleepy, so we decided to go. I was the last one out, and before I left her side, I kissed her forehead and said, “Goodbye, Jeanette; I love you.” And that was the last time I saw her.
Aimee asked me to share Jeanette’s obituary with you; you can find it here.
Jeanette with the quilt she made for Ben's 1st birthday
A journey is best measured in friends, not in miles.
– Tim Cahill
So when we last left off, David and I had collapsed into bed in our beautiful European-inspired hotel room in Chicago. That was Monday night. Tuesday morning we prepared to head back to Detroit. I had hoped to somehow meet up with Jane on our way out of town, but she had her own adventure to tend to, so we didn’t get the chance. Instead, David drove us along Lake Shore Drive to head out of the city on another beautiful day in Chicago so I could see the waterfront and Soldier Field and Comiskey Park (which isn’t called Comiskey Park anymore, but whatever). It was lovely. We stopped for breakfast at what David tells me is the only rest stop (anywhere?) that’s built on an overpass (that is, it serves both sides of the big highway). He tried to win me a Nintendo DS from a game machine, but didn’t have any luck. Oh well.
By the time we got back to Detroit, we had just enough time to change and grab the tickets and David’s brother and head downtown to Comerica Park to watch the Tigers take on the hated Cleveland Indians. I had walked around the outside of Comerica at Christmastime, but this was my first time inside. I immediately went to the team store to purchase a Tigers visor so I could credibly root for the home team (and without betraying my Braves – the Tigers are in the AL).
We walked around the stadium so I could see everything, and I even got the boys to ride the mini baseball Ferris wheel with me!
I also got a half-yard frozen daquiri, but that is neither here nor there. We then got a beer and something to eat (I had egg rolls. Egg rolls! At a baseball stadium! And chili-cheese fries. Breakfast of champions.) before settling into our seats.
David’s dad snared excellent seats down the right field line off Stub Hub, and during warm ups, I looked up and who did I see? One Grady Sizemore, centerfielder for the Indians, stretching and jogging not 20 yards from me! He’s hot, let me tell you.
Once David figured out what I was doing, he tried to take my camera away, but I didn’t let him. It’s my duty to take pictures of hot baseball players, and I take that responsibility very seriously.
The game itself was great – the Tigers won – and we headed home to do a little laundry and fall in to bed.
Wednesday morning, we packed up and got back in the car, this time headed for a little town just northeast of Buffalo, New York. My cousin was to be married Saturday, and Wednesday evening was her bridal shower (she, and a lot of wedding guests, was from out of town, but nearly the entirety of our moms’ side of the family lives in this town, which is why the shower was there and so close to the wedding). Since she had asked me to be in her wedding, I needed to be at the shower that evening, so we left around 9 or so and headed for the border. The Canadian border.
As David is fond of telling me, if you head due south from Detroit, the first foreign country you come to is Canada. Going through Canada would save us several hours, assuming the border crossing didn’t take long, and time was of the essence that day, so with our passports in hand, we made a quick entrance into the Great White North.
We had a lovely Canadian day. First, we had breakfast at Tim Horton’s. Donuts, yum. Then we stopped at Canadian Tire. It’s hard to explain Canadian Tire – it’s a little like a KMart crossed with an auto parts store, I guess, but David has been talking about it as long as I’ve known him, so we had to go.
We found Canada t-shirts there, on sale for $8.99 (or “Nine dough-lers” as David was fond of saying), red for him, white for me. Then we stopped for lunch at Harvey’s, a Canadian fast food joint. This one was located inside a Home Depot. Thank goodness for GPS. Our burgers were delicious, and people in Canada are so friendly!
We made an equally smooth entrance back into the U.S., and made our way through the Western New York countryside on a gorgeous afternoon, and I honestly don’t know if there’s any better place to be. We got to my aunt’s around 3:30 and David encountered the first wave of family introductions. The showers was girls-only, so I left him there to await my uncle, the District Attorney, who had agreed to take David and Steve (the boyfriend of one of the other bridesmaids) out to dinner. He was not happy that I couldn’t be there for the introductions; I’m sure he had Sopranos-like visions of my Italian uncle picking him and “going for a ride,” but he was a good sport.
The shower was lovely; my aunts did an amazing job, as always. Afterwards, my cousin and I and one of the bridesmaids went to find the boys in town. We walked into the restaurant only to see my grandpa holding court at their table. I hadn’t expected him to be there, but I should have guessed he would be. We attempted to pull up a table to their booth to join them, but the waitresses stopped us, which was not a good idea. My grandpa doesn’t like to be told no. Next thing you know, the wait staff is dealing with an ornery old man, and my cousin and I are laughing our heads off because this is so typical. I think David might have been scared, though.
In the end, we took the booth behind them, and my grandpa came to sit with us for a bit. He told me how much he’d enjoyed talking to David and how glad he was that I’d brought him. Made me so happy. One of my aunts showed up and then the 6 of us – me and David, my cousin, my aunt, the bridesmaid and her boyfriend – headed to the only bar in town to catch up some more and play some darts. And with the exception of the boys, I can tell you that all of us are supremely bad dart players.
It was, however, a lot of laughs. I love my family, and I love how seamlessly David fits into it.
Around 11, we headed back to my aunt’s house where we were staying and fairly collapsed into bed, again. First, though, we had to repack a small bag, because in the morning, we were headed back to Canada: Toronto. I’ll tell you all about Day 7 next time (which, hopefully, will not be two weeks from now)!
One day, Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Chesire cat in a tree. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go?” was his response. “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”
– from Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
Where to begin? I can’t even keep track of all the great stuff we did and saw.
We left for Detroit on Friday morning and arrived somewhere around 6pm. On the way, somewhere in Ohio, we passed the Happy Hooker Bait Shop, which made me giggle for about a mile. We also stopped at a place we discovered on the way home from Detroit at Christmas: Beef Jerky Unlimited. And it’s just what it sounds like: barrels and barrels of all types and flavors of jerky, though not just beef – they have pork and turkey jerky (hee) too. Here’s a picture from Christmas:
The sign on the door prohibited pictures, so I can’t show you the awesomeness inside. I did take a picture of the sign, though.
Friday night, we went bowling with David’s best friend from home. Despite my fancy purple bowling shoes, I only broke 100 once in three games. But at least there was beer.
On Saturday, we went to The Henry Ford. We only had enough time to tour the museum, but they have some great stuff. Unfortunately, the pictures are on David’s computer at the moment, so I can’t show you the museum-worthy Ford Taurus. Maybe later. The best part of the whole museum, though, is the Dymaxion House. I want one of these round, aluminum houses so much. Sadly, Mr. Fuller’s financing fell through and only one of them was ever actually built. The Graham family lived in the house, but they built around it so it looked like this. They eventually donated it to The Henry Ford Museum, and my dreams of living in it are forever dashed. Boo.
Saturday night we headed to Dave & Busters with David’s friends for some fun games. I had never played table shuffleboard (or whatever it’s called) before, but it was fun. Must put that on the list of things to have in the game room of our fantasy house. David kicked my butt in air hockey, despite my best trash talk. We amassed somewhere in the neighborhood of 3500 tickets that night, but we opted not to cash any in – they didn’t have anything good in the prize room.
Sunday we had a birthday lunch for David with his dad’s family, which was lovely. After, we played some games with his brother and step-mom, including Clue, which I haven’t played in ages. David won 3 out of 4 games. I won zero. Awesome.
We had always talked about getting out of town, at least overnight, during our stay in Detroit, but we hadn’t decided where to go. Around dinner time, we started discussing it in earnest, and tossed out Toronto (we knew there was more we wanted to do there than our brief trip from Buffalo would allow), Grand Rapids, Traverse City, and “Up North.” We had considered Chicago before we left on the trip and dismissed it because David said the Cubs were out of town. Well, we double checked Sunday evening, and he had been wrong. We saw that we were able to get tickets, which meant I could fulfill #64 on the list (go to three Major League ballparks I’ve never been to) in this one trip, and that sealed the deal. We quickly booked a hotel and packed a bag, and left for Chicago at 8pm, and arrived around 1am Monday morning. That’s the most spontaneous trip I’ve ever been on in my life, and it was so fun!
And I’ll tell you all about it next time!
Our battered suitcases were piled high on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.
– from On the Road, by Jack Kerouac
David and I are leaving in just a few minutes for 11 glorious days of vacation! Today we head back to Detroit – we’ve got a Tigers game and perhaps a trip “up North,” as David calls it, on the agenda. Wednesday we’ll head to the Buffalo area to see my mom’s side of the family. My cousin is getting married next Saturday up there, and I’m in the wedding. David has never met the large, very loud, very Italian contingent of my family (the side that’s lousy with lawyers, coincidentally), so it promises to be very interesting! Thursday we’ll take a side overnight trip to Toronto, where I intend to be very vocal in my dislike of the Yankees at a Yanks-Blue Jays game (for those of you keeping track at home, that will cover two of three baseball stadiums I’ve never been to, which is #64 on my list)!
Posting will probably be light, but I’ll definitely post a Three Things Thursday next week. Have a wonderful vacation from me!
California is beautiful to look at, but you can’t be a part of it like you can in Michigan.
– Gov. Jennifer Granholm
Our weekend in Michigan was low-key, relaxing, and wonderful. The Eagle Court ceremony was really nice, but seeing all the teenage boys made me glad I’m not a teenager anymore. I had forgotten how awkward the teen years can be.
The weather was gorgeous, and we kept driving by all of these adorable little houses, many of which were for sale, and I imagined that I might actually like to live there one day. Then David reminded me that winter in Michigan is a lot like winter in Buffalo, with which I have a passing familiarity, and that idea was promptly set aside. Still, I love to imagine where our life together might take us, and you never know where you’ll end up.
I really enjoyed spending time with David’s family; they are lovely people, truly. And we hung out with his friends and barbequed Saturday night, and while I mostly read once the activities turned to Rock Band, that was fine by me, because he was having a good time with people he doesn’t get to see very often. It made me happy that he was happy.
Oh, also, I got an adorable new bag at Meijer for under $5! It’s perfect!
That’s not a great picture, but it’s purple and gray, and I love it! It holds everything I need with plenty of room to spare and it’s totally comfortable to carry. Yay!
Also, in 101 in 1001 news, I’m pleased to announce I’ve accomplished my first task, #16: Yelp! Fat Matt’s. See my review here! Only 100 more to go! I think the next thing to tackle is the letter to myself (#95) and putting my recipes into a binder (#29).
In Scouting, a boy is encouraged to educate himself instead of being instructed.
– Sir Robert Baden-Powell
It’s fortuitous that NaBloPoMo ends Friday. Tomorrow’s Three Things Thursday, and for Friday’s post I just have to put the finishing touches on something I’ve been working on all month and put it up that morning. Then, David and I are flying to Detroit for the weekend, so blogging probably won’t happen, but Saturday’s the 1st, so I’m home free!
David’s brother is being promoted (is that the right word?) to Eagle Scout and the ceremony is Friday night. David promised TJ that he’d be there, so off we go. I’m looking forward to it, actually. I really like David’s family and I’m excited to see them again. We’re actually going back at the end of August for several days before heading to Buffalo (with a side trip to Toronto) for my cousin’s wedding Labor Day weekend (I’m a bridesmaid yet again, and the dress is awesome – I’ve have very good luck in the bridesmaid dress department). I’m hoping we’ll get up to the Northern Penninsula on that trip; I hear it’s beautiful.
That’s all the vacationing we’re doing this summer. David has tons of vacation time saved up – so much so that he’s got to use something like 10 days before the end of the year or he loses them – but I don’t, so I’ve got to save some for the holidays. So I want to live vicariously through all of you: Where have you gone so far this summer, or where are you still planning to go?
I remembered my secular father’s only strong spiritual directive: Don’t be an asshole, and make sure everybody eats.
– from Grace (Eventually): Further Thoughts on Faith, by Anne Lamott
Five more posts, including this one, and my NaBloPoMo experiment will be a success. Good thing, too, because I’m running out of ideas!
Here’s one thing I’ve been thinking about, though: Are there any rules you had growing up that you hated or thought were stupid, but which were so ingrained in you that you still follow them now?
This came to mind this weekend, when I set my alarm for 9AM even though I really wanted to go to bed without setting it at all and just sleep as long as I pleased on Saturday morning. Growing up, mostly when my brother and I were teenagers or home from college for the summer, my mom’s rule was that we couldn’t sleep past 10 in the morning. In her words, any later and “you’re wasting the day.”
And as much as I hated it then, I’ve come to really believe that my mother was right. You can accomplish so much before 10AM – gym, errands, laundry – and then you have the whole day free to do whatever else you want to do. Since moving in with David, I don’t get up as early as I used to on the weekends (8 or 8:30), but I do usually still get up by 10. It’s just pathological; I feel bad about wasting the day if I stay in bed any later.
So what about you?
The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.
– from Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell
I’m cheating a little again, because it’s 9:30, and I’m in the middle of making dinner, and I’m still exhausted from yesterday.
I’m making chicken and dumplings for the first time ever, which is taking longer than I expected, and I’m nervous David won’t like it. He’s a good sport and tries anything I make, but I can always tell when he doesn’t like something (and he always answers truthfully if I ask him). And although I know it’s not personal, it makes me feel bad when he doesn’t like it, because I only want to take care of him, and food is one way I do that. I’m working on this – I know he won’t starve if he doesn’t eat what I make, and we don’t always have to like the same things, and it’s not a reflection on my skills as a cook. I’m a work in progress.
Anyway, back to the cheating. Please enjoy the following pictures of me and some of my favorite people:
Me and Karen last summer – she’s thinner now and I’m heavier!
Me and Aimee somewhere in the neighborhood of 9 years ago at a Sister Hazel show. This is still one of my favorite pictures of us.
Me and Nate in Atlantic City, before our dad’s band played at House of Blues (he’s wearing orange because it’s my dad’s favorite color).
This was the Princess’s third birthday. Now that I look at it again, they both looking like they might be squirming to get away from me, but I promise, they are actually laughing!
Me and David in September at my friend’s wedding on Long Island (I was a bridesmaid).
I saved this in the middle while we ate dinner – success! David liked it quite a bit, and though I thought the seasoning needs some work, it’s definitely a keeper (but probably more for fall and winter)!
Sunday is a golden clasp that binds together the volume of the week.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Only 11 days to go – after today – til the end of NaBloPoMo. I won’t lie, this is hard work. But it’s been nice getting back into the habit of writing again.
Today was a good day. My mom was here overnight with her Little Sister. They spent the day in D.C. yesterday and met us for dinner tlast night. This morning we all went to breakfast, and then they headed back into the District to go to the aquarium. I went to the pool and swam laps and then laid out for a while. On the way to the pool, I saw a little boy, no more than four, running crazily down the sidewalk laughing, and he was wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt. Made me smile.
After, I came home and watched the end of the British Open with David – what a heartbreaker for Tom Watson. Then the Tigers game was on, so we watched that, though I fell asleep for a bit towards the end. The Tigers fell to the Evil Empire while I napped. Boo. By the time I woke up, it was nearly time for the Braves game, but I had to go grocery shopping, so David paused the game for me (ahh, the magic of TiVo). Worked out well for him, since he was in the middle of a golf game on Wii.
I went to the store and stocked up on lots of goodies. I’m really trying to get myself back under control food-wise, so I bought plenty of fruits and veggies and stuff to make and freeze for lunches during the week. When I got home, I started cooking three meals at once – two for lunches, and our dinner for tonight. It was a little crazy there for a while, but I managed to get everything done, and the last dish is in the oven as we speak. It makes me feel good to know that I’ve made it possible for me to be successful this week by planning ahead and taking the time to get things prepared. I’ve been wildly off program as far as Weight Watchers in concerned over the last year (which may be the subject of its own post here soon), so I’m trying to slowly get myself back into the right mindset.
We had dinner – pork chops a la Emeril, one of our favorites – and a salad with fresh cucumber from our balcony garden. Yum. Now we’re relaxing, finishing up Season 3 of the Sopranos (we broke down and bought the complete season a few weeks ago at CostCo – we had a coupon for $50 off!). All in all, a nice end to a nice, relaxing weekend.
I don’t know what you could say about a day in which you have see four beautiful sunsets.
– John Glenn
Not much time today, so I thought I’d share this Richmond sunset with you, as David and I head off to see Second City tonight. My mom called this morning to tell us she’d be in town today with her Little Sister (from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program – and she’s been a part of my family for longer than I’ve been hearing impaired), so we’re going to meet up with them for dinner after the show. Have a great Saturday night!
What People Are Saying